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Hoping and Scoping: The Mess of Singleness

Let me be vulnerable for a second: I went out recently with a gorgeous girl ( I mean capital G gorgeous!) who has such godly character. I'm a pretty awkward guy in general but put me in a situation where it's just me one on one with a beautiful woman for a few hours and it's like watching any Nicholas Cage movie: it's a wreck!

Somehow though, this time the process of getting to know someone seemed to be different. After a few dates I realized not only did she have character but we had chemistry and compatibility between us and we continued to take a leap in getting to know one another. As time went on however we realized we didn't have commitment towards each other like we thought we did and the future looked all too scary and uncertain. Which stunk to find out because if you're anything like me you're mind goes to dream world where you start to plan your life for what dating will now look like. Kind of like Shawshank Redemption where you've served your time in prison and now boys it's time to get out of singleness. I'm back to square one going through the motions of rejection of what feels like the 57th time and I can't help to have thoughts like "God why am I here in this position? I have a desire. Why am I so awkward and weird? Do you not love me God?". So in reading many books and asking advice from Pastors I have huge respect for here are the top three points that always get brought up:

1. God has made you whole

First and foremost it's important to know that no one can complete you except for God. We can sometimes forget that we're all sinners including the other person we might be interested in and so it's super dangerous to think that another person can make us whole. Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy us and complete us. There are so many verses that mention this but one that sticks out to me is Psalm 16:11 which states " You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 107:9 also states "For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things."

How cool is it that everything we find lovely about another person is just a glimpse and small portion of God's love for us. Drop the Mic and let's go, God completes us.

2. God does not withhold things

When things don't seem to go out way or we feel like we're riding a kids train at the mall going 2 miles an hour while everyone else is riding a jet into dating land it's important to note that God cares for us so much. It blows my mind to think we have such a loving caring father but it's completely true! In 1 Cor. 2:9 Paul says "But, as it is written,“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”. God is not some evil ruler that sits up on a throne laughing at how miserable our lives are with the situations He puts us in. The God of this universe is a loving God who has plans for you that are better than what you could think up of for yourself.

3. God has given you a gift

In every season of our lives God gives us more than we can ask or imagine whether we deserve it or not (And we don't deserve it). With Singleness God gives the gift in which you can be solely for Him. We get the gift of freedom and time that slowly fades when we step into new phases of our lives such as dating and marriage. 1 Cor. 7:7-8 "I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am." (You knew this verse was coming, i'm not not going to use these awesome verses). You get to be single because God wants to make something out of you and now is the best time all of your undivided/focused attention can be on Him.

Singleness is very sacred and God wants you to honor this time by giving it completely to Him. He is writing a beautiful narrative for our lives in which we get the opportunity to glorify Him with everything we have, this includes our singleness! If you're anything like me you can be easily be discouraged by where you thought you would be in life to where you currently are positioned. Nevertheless God has given us the time to serve Him with undivided whole attention and remind us that marriage is not the end game or ultimate mission in life. We were created for more and the more involves none of living for ourselves and all of living for Him. Seize the day, pursue undistracted devotion to the Lord and let's make the most of our time!

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